But why do we struggle so much with saying “no”? The impulse to go with the flow is more deeply ingrained than many of us realize, says Vanessa Bohns, an associate professor of Organizational Behavior at Cornell, who studies the social psychology of rejection. “It’s a social norm to say ‘yes,’ and breaking that social norm and saying ‘no’ is awkward and embarrassing,” said Bohns. so say whats on your mind and if you have no intention of showing up then say soo RESPECT