Mixed up
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Posted:Jun 7, 2007 8:59 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2007 4:03 am
2970 Views
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A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.
"O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.
"No, no boyfriend either." "Do you have a partner then?" "No, I`m not attached, I'll be having my baby on my own." After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman, "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is BLACK."
"Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porn film. The lead man was BLACK." "Oh, I`m very sorry," says the midwife, "that`s really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions
but I must also tell you that the baby has BLONDE hair." "Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see, the co-star in the movie was this SWEDISH guy."
"Oh, I`m sorry," the midwife repeats, "that`s really none of my business either and I hate to pry further but your baby also has SLANTED EYES."
"Yes," continues the girl, "there was also a little CHINESE man in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this, the midwife again apologizes, collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give the baby a slap on the butt. The baby starts CRYING and the mother exclaims, "Thank god for that!" "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked. "Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that she was going to BARK."
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Rockstar Supernova
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Posted:Jun 6, 2007 12:10 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2007 11:43 pm
2982 Views
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Just after the last post on a reality tv show did anyone catch the Rockstar Supernova show that was on? I caught the tail end of it on sky so watched the whole thing on youtube and thought it was amazing!
They have 3 superstars from the world of rock featuring Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, former Metallica bassist Jason Newsted, and former Guns N' Roses guitarist Gilby Clarke. Just like the Pop Idol shows all the contestants perform every week with someone getting voted out but whoever wins gets the grand prize of being the lead singer for the new supergroup.
A guy called Lukas Rossi won the show and the band went and released their first album and it's absolutely brilliant....I can recommend it to everyone so go on youtube and start listening! 
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6
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Big Brother
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Posted:May 31, 2007 6:04 am
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2007 7:44 am
3018 Views
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So who's going to admit to watching it 
That's some house this year all those girls in there it's going to be world war 3 in bitchyness! One fella going in as well boy is he going to get it 
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2
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Behaviour at meets?
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Posted:May 27, 2007 10:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2007 12:14 am
3254 Views
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Hey folks just have a wee question that I'd like to throw out there especially for the ladies. If you go to a room meet do you think it means that your fair game to be felt up?
The other night I saw different people feel up my girlfriend grabbing her ass and whatever and although she says nothing to avoid a scene I just think that it's totally disrespectful to act like this and I'm wondering how often it happens to other people as well?
We swing which maybe makes some men think that she's wide open to get felt up but we're just a normal couple when we're out and only do the swinging thing behind closed doors in private. Am I being too old fashioned or does the ladies just shrug it off and accept it? I personally wouldn't go around feeling anyone up at any time and wondering if these same people would do this on a normal night out or just these special occasions?
Apart from that I must say we had a great time at the minute although I didn't pick a good weekend to be really sick I still struggled through to the end. We met some really nice people and I'm sure we'll be seeing quite a few again. I wish it could have lasted longer so I'd have got a chance to meet more people but I'm sure there will be another one soon
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5
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blocked
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Posted:May 23, 2007 10:55 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2009 5:51 am
3001 Views
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hey I've never wrote a blog before when I'm blocked so this is a first! Had a good night out and Milan won (woooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo) heh. Holy fuck the town was jammed tonight but was good craic,,,,sky I'll see you soon honey hope I haven't got too much of a hangover in a few hours!
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2
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Apartment to rent
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Posted:May 23, 2007 12:14 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2007 1:29 pm
3039 Views
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A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment
"RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find cheque in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the
place, I was under the impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note :
Dear Sir:
First of all, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady."
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2
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Plans for this weekend...
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Posted:May 21, 2007 7:44 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2007 1:29 pm
3019 Views
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Hey hey so what plans has everyone got for this weekend and how many are visiting Belfast?
Well I finish work on Wednesday morning then I think I'm heading to the bar that night to watch the Champions league final ( C'mon Milan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ). I'll head up to my wee sweetheart on Thursday hopefully without too much of a hangover and then we're meeting a nice couple on Friday night which I'm really looking forward to
Saturday night is the Belfast meet and can't wait to finally put a lot of faces to the names.....hopefully we'll all have something to blog about on Sunday 
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9
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Happy Holidays You Bastard!
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Posted:May 19, 2007 4:56 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2007 7:45 am
2969 Views
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Have you ever seen lyrics like this in a song lol...courtesy of Blink 182
It's Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped
two fuckin' presents
It's Christmas eve and I've only wrapped
two fucking presents
And I hate, hate, hate your guts
I hate, hate, hate your guts
And I'll never talk to you again
Unless your Dad will suck me off
I'll never talk to you again.
Unless your mom will touch my cock
I'll never talk to you again.
Ejaculate into a sock
I'll never talk to you again
I'll never talk to you again
It's Labor Day and my grandpa just ate
seven fuckin' hotdogs
It's Labor Day and my grandpa just ate
seven fuckin' hotdogs
And he shit, shit, shit in pants
He's always fuckin' shitin his pants
And I'll never talk to you again
Unless your dad will suck me off
I'll never talk to you again.
Unless your mom'll touch my cock
I'll never talk to you again.
Ejaculate into a sock
I'll never talk to you again
I'll never talk to you again
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5
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Just waiting...
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Posted:Apr 28, 2007 10:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2009 5:48 am
3106 Views
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...on my darling to arrive up here for the first time. Looking forward to a nice relaxing night in what's everyone else up to?
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3
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contagious
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Posted:Apr 25, 2007 2:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2007 10:32 am
2970 Views
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A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".
Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher.
"Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher
"Anyone else?"
Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious.
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2
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Roleplaying
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Posted:Apr 19, 2007 10:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2007 10:34 am
3085 Views
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So I'm sure everyone has tried it once or twice before so what is the best roleplaying situation you did with a partner or if possible what was the worst?
I'm tried loads before from the stranger, the burglar,next door neighbour,salemans,teacher/schoolgirl etc. I'm not sure if I have a favourite out of them cause they were all damn good but the burglar one was quite good. I got out of work early one night (she knew i was getting out but didn't know what time) sneaked into the house and put a mask on...I went into the bedroom and woke her up by making a noise as if I was stealing something then when she saw me I jumped her. She put up a wee fight before finally getting a good seeing to
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7
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Yesterdays Events....
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Posted:Apr 17, 2007 4:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2007 8:02 am
3059 Views
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As everyone is already probably aware another 33 students killed in the US what the hell is happening??? How long can this shit go on surely something can be done about it. The gunman shot a couple of people then came back 2 hours later and shot the rest how the hell was he allowed to roam the place for 2 hours after shooting a few people.....too many questions not enough answers 
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2
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Thanks everyone...
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Posted:Apr 16, 2007 10:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2012 12:31 pm
3117 Views
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....for a good night was very nice to see a few faces instead of anonymous pics on the internet hehe. It was also good to see quite a few Derry ones there as well
Anyone know what the hell those 2 hags were fighting about opposite us? Fuck if that pint glass had been aimed a little bit higher my night could have ended up in hospital instead of a nice warm bed
Looking forward to the next one now especially to see all those naughty southerners that didn't make it up for this one
I forgot to bloody take pictures as well....doh! 
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10
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To link to this blog (rm_IrishKev) use [blog rm_IrishKev] in your messages.
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