Another Friday night....
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Posted:Oct 19, 2012 4:40 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2012 7:05 pm
4828 Views
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I'm stuck watching the roommates , again.
This is starting to suck, a little.
I miss having the one on one alone time that I used to have with my own . It doesn't help that her are pretty terrible.
They're bullies and they put everything down....
Not that they have a right too, for God's sake. Their mom cleans toilets for a living and works part time dressed like trash, working in a bar.
I guess it doesn't help that my anxiety is really high right now, has been for a few days. I literally feel like I could just crawl right out of my skin.
I'm so tired of struggling. I nearly cried in the parking lot at work this morning at the revelation that I'm starting to wear down. I'm starting to think that the only way out of my misery is death.
Perhaps then I could get rid of this stomach ache.
I've also noticed some of my obsessive compulsive behaviors are emerging again. Not wanting to be touched, compulsive tooth brushing, and lists....
What's wrong with me?!
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Bad Dreams
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Posted:Oct 17, 2012 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2012 3:51 pm
4194 Views
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I had a million nightmares last night.
The one that bothered me the most was the dream I had just before I woke up. I dreamed I was a little riding around in a truck with another little boy. A man that I didn't know was driving but had pulled over to the edge of the road when a particular song came on, I can't remember the song.
He was singing along with the song when he started strangling the little boy.
My eyes popped open instantly, but my heart was still beating through my chest and I could barely catch my breath. I can't remember ever having a dream quite like this before, it totally scared the shit out of me.
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Hugs and Kisses
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Posted:Oct 15, 2012 5:27 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2012 4:10 pm
4934 Views
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What's the best thing about a 4 year old?
You can fix everything with a hug and kiss.
The ex was a prick, as usual, when he dropped our off yesterday.
Every fiber of my being wishes he would just fall off the face of this earth.
I had been on the phone at the back of the house when he showed up with her. He couldn't have been here long, or knocked on the door very loudly, because my roommate was actually in her room, 5 feet from the front door.
She hadn't heard a thing either.
All of a sudden he was slamming his fists into the front door, scaring the shit out of me. I headed down the hall and opened the door as soon as I could, but he was still an asshole.
"What are you doing back there, fucking?!" he screamed at me as I opened the door. Both of my were standing there, staring up at me.
I don't think he realized my roommate was there, nor did he notice I had a phone in my hand.
Turning on his heel, he stormed back down the porch and out to his girlfriend's car.
My immediately started crying.
No goodbye, no hugs, no nothing. She was heartbroken.
I can only hope that one day he gets the same wonderful treatment he bestows upon me.
I'm just happy I can still fix my 's heartbreaks with hugs and kisses.
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Freaked Out
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Posted:Oct 10, 2012 11:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2012 5:28 pm
4706 Views
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It is possible that my roommate was hitting on me, in a drunken stupor, tonight.
I feel totally freaked out by this.
Freaked out to the point that I locked my bedroom door when I went to bed and proceeded to have a nighmare about her.
Ugh.....
Aside from the God awful paint choices, things had been going pretty smoothly between the two of us. We don't really argue or disagree about anything.
I'm hoping she was drunk enough that she won't remember any of it tomorrow morning. I certainly don't want to remember it.
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Sweaters, and other trivial bits of info.
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Posted:Oct 10, 2012 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2012 5:29 pm
4948 Views
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Fat Tiffani told me she liked my sweater today.
Now, this is the woman who wears the same clothes to work 2 days in a row and thinks nothing of it.
I'm going to have to burn this sweater.
I got to meet the infamous Tennessee today. He was standing in the kitchen talking to the roommate when I got home from work today. I can honestly say, I'm not all that impressed. I think he might be missing all of his bottom teeth. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but, honestly? He wouldn't have been my first choice in friends.
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5
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Plum?
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Posted:Oct 9, 2012 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2012 12:32 pm
4728 Views
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The roommate has decided to paint the kitchen plum.
Plum?!
I don't even want to think about it. She's a shitty painter, on top of it all. You should see what she's done to the living room.
"Isn't that a great accent wall?" She was beaming with excitement. I cringed at the sight of it. The accent wall in my living room is about the same color as the trademark blue that walmart uses.
A complete eyesore.....
I'm cringing at the thought of what is about to come. Paint on the trim, splatters dried into the carpet, and streaks where she should have applied a second coat but firmly believes "there's primer in the paint, we don't need a second coat."
The one thing that gets me through this is the knowledge that this isn't a permanent situation. I will be back on me feet again, eventually, and even though my name is on the lease the same as hers, she can totally keep the place.
Speaking of back on my feet....
I stopped by friend of the court today to change my address and asked them when they would be re-evaluating our custody and support agreement. My oldest turned 18 in July and they still have him as part of the equation.
Apparently they fucked up.
I'm not sure what the outcome is going to be, but I do know the fact that he is now 18 will increase the amount of money the ex owes me in support.
And the ex had the nerve to complain about paying $7.20 a week. Wait until it's increased to $80 something.
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Redneckville, USA
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Posted:Oct 7, 2012 4:16 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2012 12:44 pm
4640 Views
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I saw my landlord standing outside his office today.
He was wearing a giant cowboy hat and chaps.
God only knows what he was up too.... I don't even want to think about it. Weird doesn't begin to describe the guy. In truth, I think I'm a little freaked out by him.
Because he's already asked my roommate if she would like to take a trip to New York with him, she avoids him like the plague.
Unfortunately, that means I have to do most of the communication with him.
It's always a unique experience.
Last Monday our rent was due, and as usual, I was the one to track him down. I finally found him sleeping in his car, parked outside his office.
And, I do mean, sleeping.
Not quite sure what to do, I stood outside his car for a moment or two trying to decide if I should just knock on his car window or call the number on his office door.
I ended up calling the number, which ended up being the number to his cell. It rang several times before he even heard it. Watching the entire spectacle from outside his car, I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
He juggled the phone for several moments before deciding to return his car seat to the upright position. Glancing up, he sees me standing outside his car with my phone in my hand, and I wave.
Dazed and confused, he managed to stumble out of his car and into his office to get me a receipt. I hate this guy's office, it's completely full of shit. Old computer hardware, stacks of papers, and it's dimly lit. He patted the chair next to his own, assuming I was going to sit next to him, but I kept my distance.
The last thing I need from this guy is for him to set his sights on me. Ack!!
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I can't sleep.
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Posted:Oct 6, 2012 10:45 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2012 1:09 pm
4383 Views
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Why?
Let's see.... It's about a million degrees in my room. My 4 year old AND 9 year old have crawled in bed with me and there is literally no room to move. It's 1:35 in the morning and I hear the bass of someone's radio thumping away from down the street as well as the neighbors barking from his tarped enclosure next door. The street light that shines into my bedroom window seems to be strobing on and off at an even more frequent rate and I'd like to just shoot the damn thing out with a gun.
Did I mention I have to work in the morning at 6am? Which means, I will have to be getting up and getting ready for work in about 2 hours.
I have a feeling my day to come is totally going to suck.
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And....
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Posted:Oct 6, 2012 1:57 pm
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2012 2:20 pm
4850 Views
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She's back.
It's been a while, I'm so out of the loop. I feel a little like I've lost touch with reality. Living without tv and internet is a killer.
So, I've moved, I have a roommate now, and life is really not anything at all like it was, but everything seems to be ok for the moment.
I have to say, it's been an interesting couple of months, though.
I'm going to look around, and try to catch up with everyone, and see what's changed since I've been gone....
But I will catch you guys up on what I've been doing.
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Lonely_Girl is on the move....
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Posted:Jul 22, 2012 2:02 pm
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2012 1:52 pm
5353 Views
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It's official. Lonely_girl's landlords do not want to rent to her anymore. Apparently they can charge more, and know someone who will pay more for her apartment.
I'm not willing to pay more for this hovel.
I have until the end of the week to move my stuff out and find a place to live.
This sucks.
A friend from work and I have decided to partner up and rent a house.
This is proving to be quite difficult, believe it or not.
With her , and mine, we need a 4 bedroom house. Something not easily found around here.... But we did find something. The problem? It's a crazy man who owns the place. He doesn't remember who we are at any point you try to contact him. He's taken $40 of my money for application fees, and copies of our drivers licenses, social security cards, and paystubs for the past month. We haven't heard back, so we have no idea what is going on. He's already hit on the friend when she dropped off our info. The list goes on.....
I'm feeling pretty desparate and screwed at the moment.
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My birthday boy turned 18 today...
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Posted:Jul 20, 2012 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2012 1:19 pm
5271 Views
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Now I'm an emotional wreck.
His whole life is ahead of him, and I want so badly for him to not make all the mistakes in life that I have.
I hugged him, and told him I loved him, then cried my eyes out for 10 minutes because I'm such a mush. He couldn't help it, and started crying too.
Words don't describe how much a parent can love their , the love only deepens with age. He might be a little putz, and irritate the hell out of me sometimes, but my life would never be the same without him.
Today he is a responsible, hard working adult in the prime of his life. When I look at him though, I still see the little boy who excitedly exclaimed to me "I know where rainbows come from mom!!" when he saw an oil film covering a mud puddle in the Kmart parking lot.
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Just call me lobster girl....
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Posted:Jul 18, 2012 2:14 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2012 6:17 pm
6180 Views
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Went to the beach with my yesterday.
Holy shit did I get a sunburn!
I did apply sunscreen when I first got there, just like always. It was so overcast, and hazy out that I didn't even think twice about the necessity to reapply....
Major mistake.
I'm pretty sure you can roast a marshmallow on the radiant heat emitting from my poor, sunburned skin.
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It's 3:26 am
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Posted:Jul 17, 2012 12:35 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2012 3:37 pm
5522 Views
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Guess who's been up for over an hour again!?!
Give up??
Well, ME of course.....
Another sleepless night for the lonely girl, this time the result of a bad dream.
I just can't seem to make it past 5 hours of sleep.
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To link to this blog (lonely_girl1974) use [blog lonely_girl1974] in your messages.
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