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Blogs > CeriosEros > The life & times of Zero Mega

Throwing away a unopened box of condoms again  

CeriosEros 39M
615 posts
7/26/2018 4:19 am

Last Read:
8/20/2018 7:57 pm
Throwing away a unopened box of condoms again
I know I've written about throwing away a unopened box of condoms before but it's about to happen for the third time but before I give the details let's answer some questions you probably have.

Yes, condoms have a long self life. Around 6-10 years depending on when you buy.

No, I am not going to make weird balloon animals with them after they expire.

Of course I planned on using them when I first bought them.

No, I don't enjoy wasting money.

I don't know why I can't get laid.

Yes, I thought about getting a but I always get a surge of self respect and think I'm attractive and charming enough to get a women in bed without paying for it and yes I'm always wrong.

Okay, story time. Our tale begins days after I threw away my last unopened box of condoms. Seeing those little buggers in my trash motivated me to finally get the job done. So I doubled my efforts on this site, rejoined the hell on earth that is the online dating world and started going to places with lots of women like yoga studios, craft stores and I thought about going to dance classes but felt like a weirdo going by myself. I thought I was going to find at least woman who would find me charming or one who was just horny. I was 100% sure I would find at least one. It was just a matter of time. I had to be responsible so I bought a new box of condoms. Not just any condoms I bought the Rolls Royce of condoms. A brand called Okamoto crown. These things are have been ranked as the best latex condoms for nearly two decades. They're thin yet strong and anyone who has tried them swears by them. Yeah, that's how confident I was.

I tried. I really did. But after a couple of months I knew that it was going to happen it was going to take longer than I thought. So I put the box away. Years go by and I realized that it's just not going to happen for me and I move on to just trying to get a but I keep chickening out or convincing myself that I can get someone to have sex with me for free and I forget about Okamoto crowns. Until last night. I'm looks everywhere for my old laptop and I find this bag and there they are. I look at the expiration date and they expire December of this year. I actually might be able to use one or two but the majority of these every amazing condoms are going to end up in the bin. Oh well.
CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/26/2018 4:20 am

 Just like my mom used to always say. I'm not special but my condoms are.


benard69 66M/66F

7/26/2018 4:48 am

 You're a good looking man so it's hard to believe you can't find some great ladies to enjoy those Cadillac condoms with you...


storkjwr18 48M

7/26/2018 6:55 am

 I don't know man, maybe its your delivery. Need some new corny lines or such lol. Maybe you are too picky for just sex, could not tell you.

Seriously though if your goal is to just get laid, are you not going to bars? You know karaoke nights or such? Just a suggestion.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
7/26/2018 9:11 am

 I've had to throw out condoms, too. I hope you're only buying 3-packs rather than a dozen at a time

I've heard dance studios (ballroom dancing or folk dancing or whatever) are great for meeting people. But I wouldn't go unless you're genuinely interested in learning to dance. I think if someone is just going to activities to meet chicks it becomes obvious pretty fast.

Just like if I started hanging out at fishing holes or bought a rifle to go hunting - lol.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/27/2018 9:10 pm
    Quoting benard69:
    You're a good looking man so it's hard to believe you can't find some great ladies to enjoy those Cadillac condoms with you...
Thanks but it's just a good picture. In real life I look like an unholy union of a gargoyle who won the ugliest gargoyle contest and an even more heinous gargoyle who forgot to enterm


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/27/2018 10:35 pm
    Quoting storkjwr18:
    I don't know man, maybe its your delivery. Need some new corny lines or such lol. Maybe you are too picky for just sex, could not tell you.

    Seriously though if your goal is to just get laid, are you not going to bars? You know karaoke nights or such? Just a suggestion.
I don't go to bars because I don't drink and it's starting to get weird out there if you're hitting on a girl who has been drinking. I don't want to end up a me too cautionary tale.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/27/2018 10:38 pm
    Quoting smartasswoman:
    I've had to throw out condoms, too. I hope you're only buying 3-packs rather than a dozen at a time

    I've heard dance studios (ballroom dancing or folk dancing or whatever) are great for meeting people. But I wouldn't go unless you're genuinely interested in learning to dance. I think if someone is just going to activities to meet chicks it becomes obvious pretty fast.

    Just like if I started hanging out at fishing holes or bought a rifle to go hunting - lol.
I actually interested in dancing. Mostly Latin club dances like tango, salsa, and bachata. But I have been looking at blues dancing but there are only so many teachers in the world and the nearest class is 20 miles away and would take a big time commitment.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/27/2018 10:39 pm
    Quoting  :
I know the rules. I'm a failure not stupid.


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