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Blogs > gymrat1974 > ManwranglerJen |
Damn, Damn, Damn!
Damn, Damn, Damn! I feel this intense sadness mixed with an urgency do something I need escape you Outrun you Outlast you Flee from you Capture you It’s this crazy combination of anguish and despair and longing and desire I have avoid it I have run headlong into it I want you I hate you I need you I don’t know you At And yet you consume my thoughts My daydreams, my fantasies My nightmares revolve around you I’m filled with notions of what you can offer me And that I stand lose for the love of you And I can’t do anything but run from you and hope one day I will walk right into your arms. |
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I have run from that intense connection ,for self preservation ,to forget it , to avoid it , guess what. trying to substitute for it did not work.It remained deep within all of me despite my denial; , it continued to for years and years , until i gave in and reconnected despite fear of either outcome , it could consume me again or it could save me .the hope of the positive far outweighed the fear of the negative ,the waiting to see the outcome is now happening .we will be in each others arms eventually
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