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Four Fs--Fighting, Fleeing, Feeding, & Mating
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Four Fs--Fighting, Fleeing, Feeding, & Mating So, as far as evolution is concerned, there are four fs of survival, fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating. Of course, as human beings, we all seem to have made this a lot more complicated. That being said, there's one piece of that complicated stuff that I find endlessly fascinating--the emotional and spiritual growth that seems to be a direct outcome of healthy sexual relationships. It's actually the number one reason I continue to move forward with nonmonogamy, rather than break it off with my primary partner to find someone more interested in monogamy. See, he and I met while both being quite nonmonogamous, but we didn't wind up remaining that way as our other relationships dropped off one at a time. We wound up being monogamous as a result, and neither of us was seeking anything outside, and then he wanted to go back to that. Well, the thing is, I was just fine being monogamous at this point. I love him dearly and had been through way too much change in that past year. But, unlike my ex, who couldn't even have a conversation around nonmonogamy and how his practice of it might be affecting me (now you know why he was gone), my guy took the time to say, "Hey, I care about you and I feel like if I just do this without helping you along that it's like dumping the garbage in your lawn and telling you to deal with it." So, we wound up really working through what was behind why he wanted nonmonogamy and what things might make it easier for me to deal with it. It's not like he was not looking at other profiles during this time, but he wasn't rushing into anything, either. So, we wound up here...because I would NEVER presume to own another person and tell him or her what to do in relationship to other people ever again, and because I love the man dearly. The thing is, even though I am dealing with what is sometimes a fairly decent amount of discomfort, I have my moments when I feel truly free, as well, something my ex refused to let me feel long, at all. I also appreciate the observations she makes to him that help him grow and be a better partner to me. So, yeah, that thing, that growth thing. So, what about you? What do you take away from your relationships? Good things? Bad things? Growth things? Sad things?   MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=} |
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In school in the olden days we had the three R's...reading, riting and r-ithmatic....hohoho...teachers were so funny in those days.
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When my wife and I were first together as a couple, I wasn't initially clear whether we were exclusive or not. I said something about it, assuming that we were not yet exclusive, and she stopped me. "Did you say . . . ?" After a brief conversation I made my choice: exclusive was just fine. We continue to talk about the possibility of some sort of experimentation with limited non-exclusivity, but mostly it's joking around, and when it's serious it's still not an option. And that's just fine; she's wonderful, and well worth setting aside the possibility of variety that would probably mean a downgrade anyway. We're seriously considering a watch-and-be-watched encounter, however. She knows that turns me on, and doesn't mind occasionally indulging a low-risk kink like that. - - - - - Anyway, it's great that your partner was so considerate about a return to non-exclusivity after a period of exclusivity-by-default, and that it you managed to work through the conversation without grief.
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