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Actually, your first 2 questions were . . . I figure why not . I don't know. Re your 3rd question: That is one person's opinion. There are no real guarantees of a second or any further dates. Excluding 1st meets that were intended as one time deals - I have usually contacted, or have been contacted, for a 2nd date and have had 2nd, or more, dates with and without sex. Re your 4th question: Sex is always sex. If you didn't have sex then it wasn't sex.  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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Fucking on the first date is your best bet on getting a second date. - Probably true, but when it comes to date #3, 4, etc. I'm guessing it is going to take more than "just sex" - well unless you're REALLY good at it.  When is sex not *just* sex? - It varies, maybe on that 3rd, 4th, whatever, date when you get beyond just enjoying the physical. But in my particular situation, I'm a realist, so I don't expect my FB/FWBs to be exclusive to me given how often I can see them / how much time I can devote to them. AND, since I'm a TOTAL perv, a few of them have come to know how much I'll enjoy hearing about their latest adventures! Bye Bye Beetle Z Has GOTTA be for Zipper, on HNW A Room With A View [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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9/21/2018 10:27 am |
It's just sex or age has no meaning, I think more of myself to agree with either of them. Every action has consequences attached, I don't want to hate myself in the morning. But to each their own.
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Back when I was actively meeting people here, it was not my experience that having sex on the first date led to getting a second date. Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn't. I was only initiating first date sex with guys who I was interested enough in/attracted to enough, to think there was potential for something ongoing. And like you, at first I thought, 'shit, maybe I'm no good at sex!" But I think it's also a matter of, many guys will be up for a one-off even if they might not be interested/attracted enough for a repeat engagement. Also, to be fair, there were a few guys who I lost interest in, after having sex with them. So I guess it goes both ways.   
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First question: In the past 13 years or so, forgetting all the labels, most of my dates where with the intention of it being more than a one date thing. Wasn't looking for a LTR, but most of my FWB or NSA where usually at least semi long term.  I can't think of any that I had sex with on the first date and thought..nah. By then I knew a little about them and wouldn't have been out with them if they didn't attract me in some way. Never discounted any of them if the sex wasn't spectacular on the first try. Some seemed really nervous, and anyways, I think sex always gets better as you get to know someone. And hell practice not only helps, but it's a ton of fun. I will admit to one NSA that really didn't wow me in any other way, but was just great in bed. Second Question: I don't really get the it's just sex thing. And to answer it in the context you put it. If he thinks it's just sex and it's ok...but doesn't want his wife or girlfriend to have "just sex" with others. Then he's at best a hypocrite, but probably just more of a douche bag. To me, "just sex" is like the time 4 years ago I got drunk in a hotel bar. At the beach for my birthday. I remember talking to her in the bar, I remember her coming up to my room. I remember us having sex, though I was drunk, so I doubt it was good sex on my part. But when I woke up, I didn't remember her name. She remembered it was my birthday though. That was "just sex"." I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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9/21/2018 12:41 pm |
I am too busy quashing (mostly unsuccessful) uncontrollable hand sweats, awkward questions/answers, and nervous laughs to even think if I were to have that chance - that ONE chance to see if fucking on the first date is my best bet for a second. Now, if the question was 'Not fucking up on the first date is the best bet for a second date' - wait. I can't answer that either.
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I've been out of the dating scene for so long, I'm not sure if I am even qualified to express an opinion. So I can only answer based on my own experiences. As to question #1, "Fucking on the first date is your best bet on getting a second date" - for me, the situation has been totally the opposite. - None of the encounters I have had in the last 17 years would be considered "dates" in the typical sense, as none of the guys were local and had any potential for follow-up dates #2, 3, or 4. So, let's call them "meets" instead. - We had spent some time learning about each other prior, and I agreed to a meet, based on my being attracted to them. And being horny (make of that what you will). When that attraction turned out to be mutual, on meeting, it quite often resulted in sex (which may have been "implied" but was never explicitly discussed). If I were ever to meet a guy, where there was any potential that we might see each other again, I can almost guarantee there will be NO sex, on the 1st date.. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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For me personally there has to be some chemistry, and first dates highly unlikely that's going to happen as I like to get to know someone first. And sex just isn't sex when it becomes a relationship..  Great questions hun and I hope you have a great weekend.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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For me there is no such thing as sex on the first date/meet, it's just not gonna happen. I need for there to be a connection - chemistry...whatever you want to call it. I need to know the person. Do most men wanna stick around for that?.....Hmmmmm..... When is sex not just sex: In my case it usually winds up being a more emotional thing...not just physical. Casual sex/FWB/NSA just doesn't work for me, I feel sometimes like perhaps I'm in a minority when it comes to that, although in reading profiles on here....I do see other profiles that speak of "wanting more". I was in a relationship that went south because of lies and BS (not on my part) so presently I'm not looking to invest any emotions into anything....so no sex for me....lol Eventually that will change....... Be Honest..Be Sincere...Be REAL
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hey, it's friday night here in Texas too and it's raining. We have so much in common. We should meet and have sex. I'd like to think I'd be brave enough for sex on the first date, but actually, I'd want to know more, know that its safe and know that it'd be more than one time. And sex isn't sex if you are infatuated. It's more like a religious experience.
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From my experience I find that sex on the first date with someone I had made a good connection with before our first date very often led to many dates and lots of sex after the first time. Sex on the first date with someone I really hadn’t chatted with before meeting, but figured what the heck can’t hurt to meet, very often ended up as just sex. Yes, just sex. It was fun for the moment, no regrets at all, but did not really care enough if we saw each other again. Sometimes still remain friends and occasionally have sex. Sometimes lose contact completely. But then again, have lost contact with some I went out with and had sex many times.
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Given the instant gratification era we live in and the overall nature of how this site is sold, I would guess the answer to query one is, unlikely. I think those who have ben patient and built up personal and confirmed sexual chemistry through a useless Senior Sizzle IM and then phone calls and skype chats etc are more likely to proceed on an on going basis
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Thinking waaaaay back to when I was actually meeting people my age with the intention of trying to have sex with them... first date sex was usually disappointing and there was nothing else to make me want to hang around and try again... like personality or humor. Just a semi-chub and lots of awkward apologies. (please hold while I go sob a bit) ok, that's first dates without the advantage of a good connection, like tressenui said. *sniff yeah. You're spot on with the whole "it's just sex until my woman wants to have 'just sex' on the side too" thing.
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BiggLala replies on 9/21/2018 11:43 pm: Sounds like you've had a lot of good experiences. What's your secret? Please share. Please share? lol Damn, I’ve been, what many would consider, over sharing on my blog here for 10 years‼️😱
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>>{I]I think I'm going to institute a 'no sex on the first date rule' going forward. I hate that, but it seems the only way to increase the chances of finding a guy truly interested in ongoing. Yes, that's eventually the direction that I went, in an attempt to weed out the guys who are just looking for a one-off easy lay. Menopausal changes have made this policy a lot easier for me...I'm just not all that horny so it's easy to wait. Maybe TOO easy. There was a guy this last spring who I went out with for a couple months - he was being even more cautious than I am. And then by the time HE was ready, I just couldn't muster up any sexual desire for him.
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First Question: No, no and NO!!! Then again I don't meet people here just for sex...  Yes, you heard me correctly. I believe there is more to this site than sex. I know there are many who don't agree, however, that is my thinking and no one is going to change my thinking. This site is what I want it to be for me.I will have to think a bit more about the second question.
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BiggLala replies on 9/22/2018 11:32 am: LOL, my bad. Translation: go read my damn blog, Lala! (kidding ) No offense taken.  Maybe I’ve been blogging too long. Should there be a term limit? Sometimes I feel like I’ve written about so many topics in my blogs that other bloggers are now bringing up I feel to make a comment I am repeating myself. I can just copy and paste. Why re-write in different words, what I already wrote in words I tried to chose carefully already? I am even to the point that if I am chatting with someone from here, or even meeting up, when they ask me a question, especially if it’s about relationships and/or sex, I cite a blog I wrote...or am at least very tempted to do that. I did once meet someone who on our first date, while we were at a very nice restaurant/bar, pulled a print out of my profile from his pocket. If I recall, we had sex that night and went out maybe once more. Had to at least give him credit for being industrious.
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Fucking on the first date is your best bet on getting a second date: I totally understand high emotions going into first meets and first time sex (whether or not those happen on the same evening). That is bound to wear off ... that's hardly unexpected. It is doubly true with internet dating where we naturally fill in the unknown gaps about the other person in favorable ways. Once the spell is broken, the fall tends to be fast and hard. in fact, a great many people (men and women both) just poof and vanish instead of dealing with the aftermath of it all. If the intensity is going to come crashing down anyway after having sex, does it really matter if happens after the first date or the sixth? My opinion on first date sex is that far too many women don't want to be called out on their crap. The entirety of their conversations are pure sex talk and trashy selfies, then they express utter bewilderment that the guy loses interest after actually doing it. No shit! What other outcome was possible? In those situations, the woman was driving the dynamic, and drove it straight off a cliff. But men aren't innocent victims in all this, by no means! A lot of them are talking a good game about things being more than just sexual, when the reality is that they're feeling guilty about being "that guy" (the type that uses women for just sex). It isn't about interest in the woman, it is about easing their guilt. They are "that guy," they just don't want to feel like "that guy." So once their guilt is gone, so are they. I'm convinced (albeit with nothing more than anecdotal evidence to support it) that people are having so little success here that they're pinning all their hopes and desires on the ONE person they've managed to connect with. And when the fantasy hits critical mass and can no longer be sustained, it collapses. The solution is simple, talk to more than one person! Maybe if the fantasy didn't reach such high levels, then the fall won't be an inevitability. But then again, we all keep coming back here because we're addicted to the intensity, that's the one component people won't give up no matter what the cost. Sigh.
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this is so fucking depressing. put out or forget about iever seeing me again? well then go fuck yourself asshole. and it's never just sex.........not for me. if i'm having sex there's more involved already. so, if i have sex on nteh first date it's becasue the fire was lit and it seems like somethign real is happening. and if he never calls again theni read the whole thing wrong and he is a flaming fucktard and i will find him later in life and ruin him You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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