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| Blogs > a_gothgrrrl > The Train Wreck. |
The negatives to sex without commitments
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The negatives to sex without commitments Well I find that I ended up spending most of the weekend on my own. Saturday I was taken out for lunch and sours (beer) with a very good friend of mine I made off this site like 10 years ago and I'm so thankful for the friends i have made. With choosing to enjoy carnal pleasures without commitment I find myself at an awkward impasse. That need a lot of women, myself included, have stir from deep within the recesses of primal instinct. That need to be protected. The need to be spoiled. The need to be treated like someone special by one who cares deeply for them. The one who wants total possession of them heart, body and mind. I'd like to chalk it up to my hormones because my freedom is of the utmost importance to me but right now I almost feel like I would give in to someone with ulterior motives for my body if I could just be spoiled...even for a little while. "I could make you all go away, any time I want to" |
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Totally understandable - and some guys get the same feeling. They say promiscuity is the highway to loneliness and I must say that endless rampant shagging of strangers does no good for the soul, or sense of being. I posted a great quote about it from Tom Robbins 'Still Life with Woodpecker' some time ago. WIll try and find it...
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Here ya go… There is love making that is bad for a person, just as there is eating that is bad. That boysenberry cream pie from the thrift-e-mart may appear inviting, may, in fact, cause all 900 taste buds to carol from the tongue, but in the end, the sugars, the additives, the empty calories clog arteries, disrupt cells, generate fat, and rot teeth. Even potentially nourishing foods can be in properly prepared. There are wrong combinations and improper proportions in sex as well, yes, one must prepare for a fuck - the way an enlightened priest prepares to celebrate mass, the way a great matador prepares for the ring: with intensification, with purification, with a conscious summoning of sacred power. And even that won’t work if the ingredients are poorly matched: oysters are delectible, so are strawberries, but mashed together…?!? Every nutritious sexual recipe calls for at least a pinch of love, and the fucks that rate four-star rankings from both gourmets and health food nuts use capfuls. Not that sex should be regarded as therapeutic or to be taken for medicinal purposes - only a dullard would hang such a millestone around the nibbled neck of a lay - but to approach sex carelessly, shallowly, with detachment and without warmth is to dine night after night in erotic greasy spoons. In time one’s palate will become insensitive, one will suffer (without knowing it) emotional malnutrition, the skin of the soul will fester with scurvy, the teeth of the heart will decay. Neither duration nor proclamation or commitment is necessarily the measure - there are ephemeral expolosions of passion between strangers that make more erotic sense than many lengthy marriages, there are one-night stands in Jersey City more glorious than 6-month affairs in Paris - but finally, there is a commitment, however brief; a purity, however threatened; a vulnerability, however concealed; a generosity of spirit, however marbled with need; an honest caring, however singed by lust, that must be present if couplings are to be salubrious and not slow poison.
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