Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Forgot password?
Blogs > thickandhardla > My Blog

Why I'm better than a cucumber or your sex toy of choice  

thickandhardla 56M
4 posts
7/4/2013 12:23 am
Why I'm better than a cucumber or your sex toy of choice

1. I'm a sentient being, sensitive & responsive to your feelings.

2. I'm alive & passionate (related to #1, granted; but you're the source of the feelings in #1, I'm the source here).

3. Sometimes I'll delight you with unexpected action.

4. I'm smart & adapt quickly -- I'm really screwed if your toys can do that.

5. A greater variety of toys can be used with me – it's a win-win or "have your cake and eat it too" dream scenario.

6. I make sexy noises & stimulating talk -- as opposed to a buzzing sound.

7. I'm a great kisser.

8. I have a wicked tongue, talented fingers and can fuck you silly.

9. I'm a fucking riot. Pee in your pants funny, but I'm not nearly as talented in funny as I am with giving pleasure.

10. I'm kind, smell nice and will even give hugs and cuddle sometimes.

Did I mention that I'm a well rounded, fantastic guy and humble?

forujules 51F  
3074 posts
7/4/2013 2:23 am

 Have you met a woman who has actually used a cucumber?
Come leave me some thoughts forujules I'd love to read them~xo~


sonyisback 60F
Ask me for a photo
282 posts
7/4/2013 4:47 am

 I am choosing the cucumber.


thickandhardla 56M
15 posts
9/17/2013 12:21 pm

 The blog was inspired by a childhood memory. My sister had a cheeky poster in her room listing reasons why a a cucumber is better than a man.


Become a member to create a blog