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Blogs > lonely_girl1974 > The Spinster War Chronicles

Friend VS Acquaintance  

lonely_girl1974 50F
Ask me for a photo
838 posts
4/28/2016 11:12 pm
Friend VS Acquaintance

I got a text today from a random number asking if I was at work.

Naturally, I was skeptical and hostile toward it, immediately demanding the identity of the owner.

The response surprised and embarrassed me a little.

It was a text from someone who I had considered to be a good friend. We have known each other since middle school and remain in frequent contact via email.... etc.

It didn't take long for me to realize that, for someone who was supposed to be such a good friend, I hadn't actually spoken to her in person for almost 2 years. The last time I had even seen her was on my 40th birthday.

She was in town for a funeral and wanted to know if I wanted to do a little shopping with her. A part of me is a little hurt that she just didn't stop in where I was working to say Hi. The rational side of me knows that, if she had stopped in, she would have had to put forth an effort and actually followed through with the request. With a text, you have the gratification of "I tried to get in touch with you" without the actual effort. She knew the chances that I was at work were high, and probably not able to check my phone anyway, so a text to see if I was at work was pointless. It just gave the appearance of "I tried to get in touch with you."

I have known for a while that our friendship is fading. This just kind of gave me clarity on the subject.

There was a time that I told her everything.....

Now we basically exchange pleasantries and keep each other posted on our 's accomplishments. I haven't even told her that I recently broke things off with the boyfriend.

It saddens me a little to know my friend has become merely an acquaintance.

Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
4/30/2016 2:19 am
    Quoting lonely_girl1974:
    It's not 2 years of silence. We email frequently, sometimes daily. We just don't talk on the phone.
Texting is the same as silence. The human is a sensual animal. We bond closer to those who engage our senses. Like you friend hearing your voice, your friend creates a stronger bond with you.

Texting is silence. You have to talk to them, or you lose the bond.


lonely_girl1974 50F
Ask me for a photo
748 posts
4/29/2016 3:46 pm
    Quoting  :
You are right, it does take two. Even though we email, maybe that just isn't enough.


lonely_girl1974 50F
Ask me for a photo
748 posts
4/29/2016 3:44 pm
    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Some people just move on and become friendlier with friends who stay in touch. Two years of silence can drop you easily off her totem of whom she thinks of, as friends.
It's not 2 years of silence. We email frequently, sometimes daily. We just don't talk on the phone.


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
4/29/2016 2:33 pm

 Some people just move on and become friendlier with friends who stay in touch. Two years of silence can drop you easily off her totem of whom she thinks of, as friends.


lonely_girl1974 50F
Ask me for a photo
748 posts
4/29/2016 5:19 am
    Quoting s2ndegree:
    It happens.Two woman years is a lot longer than two man years when it
    comes to seeing old friends.Sounds like she made the effort at least and didn't just blow into town and avoid you!
    \I am a complete stranger and even I could tell that something seemed to be bothering you!
    Sounds like the balls in your court!
Oh, but she did avoid me. She was within 50 feet of where I work, and chose not to pop in and say hi. She and I have emailed back and forth a bit since the incident, before I even posted this blog.

I'm bothered by the fact that the friendship has faded.


lonely_girl1974 50F
Ask me for a photo
748 posts
4/29/2016 5:15 am
    Quoting Heathen_G:
    So instead you decided to blog about it, for a mass of people you don't know and will never meet.

    What do you think would have been the better action?
I've made plans with her several times, in the past, while I was in her neck of the woods. Each time she canceled the-day-of with sketchy excuses. Her husband having a cold was the worst. I didn't say anything to her, but I had seen and talked to her husband that same day while I was out and about.


s2ndegree 65M
9800 posts
4/29/2016 1:45 am

 It happens.Two woman years is a lot longer than two man years when it
comes to seeing old friends.Sounds like she made the effort at least and didn't just blow into town and avoid you!
\I am a complete stranger and even I could tell that something seemed to be bothering you!
Sounds like the balls in your court!
Using more than all the road!


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
4/29/2016 12:47 am

 So instead you decided to blog about it, for a mass of people you don't know and will never meet.

What do you think would have been the better action?


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