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Missoula Playtime and Limits
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Missoula Playtime and Limits I'm kind of in a reflective mood today. I missed seeing my Master this weekend. His work schedule got completely fucked up and we didn't get to see each other as planned. I was really looking forward to seeing Him again as well as meeting this lady He was going to bring and playing with both of them. I've never seen Master with another woman, and I was really looking forward to spending some time watching Him be pleased by another. I did get to play myself while I was in Missoula though, but I was also disappointed by the lower numbers of men at Glory. The only thing I can think is the warmer weather kept them out. At least, that's what I hope. I was there at the time I had specified, and I did get to enjoy the company of 6 gentlemen Saturday night/Sunday morning, but it wasn't enough to completely satisfy me. There could have been 7, but one man asked me how much my Master would charge him for me to spend the night with him. I told him Master wasn't my , that He was my Master, and then I told him I didn't think my Master would want me to play with him, so I went outside for a while. It didn't help things when I was at the club last week and a woman there told me I shouldn't be "giving it away" like I do. "Make them pay for it," she said. Well, hell. The men do pay for the motel rooms (I pay when I go to see Master), but I pay for my own gas to get there. She told me I should be charging them, and then between that, the comment that one man made, and another man who asked me after I had sucked his cock if he could pay me, well, I kind of felt like I was being treated a bit like a , and I don't like that. What's wrong with the fact that there are just some women who really enjoy sucking cocks? I don't want to do it for a living. My career goal is not to be a (been there, done that when I was a , and have no desire to go back to it). If I'm going to be paid for my "skills" it's going to be for writing short stories or listening. Especially since I'm studying to become a social worker. Those are the skills I want to be paid for, and I'm good at them, too. Of course, I'm not too shabby when it comes to sucking cocks, either, but I do that because I enjoy it. Not because I "have to." Well, OK, I do "have to," but it's not like "because Master tells me I have to." It's because I have this need inside to suck them, and I have in order to satisfy that need. This weekend also tested some of my limits. I have a very difficult time placing them. Part of it is that I don't feel everything as well as I could physically, and sometimes I can't tell when something is too intense or damaging. It's not a good thing. But there are times when I can tell. Of course, it has to be pretty extreme in those cases. There were a couple of men I had to do that with, and a third man who didn't listen to my limits. The first man I was with Saturday night was great, and I really enjoyed being with him in my motel room. I'm looking forward to seeing him again when I go back. We both ended up learning something from each other, and I got to show him the softer side of BDSM and how pain and pleasure can by simpatico. I absolutely loved the way he touched me, and I want more of that. I like rough touches in certain areas and soft touches in other areas, but it depends on what it is. I love having the floggers, paddles, belts, whips, and riding crops used on my ass, back, and shoulders, and I like it when Master leaves welts and bruises there, but when it comes to being touched by hands there, I prefer the soft touch and I respond to that. It's strange, but harder touches with hands hurt me, and the whippings don't. Go figure. This man definitely had the golden touch. The second man I was with (the first at Glory) was great, too. He had told me he would definitely be there, and it was nice to see a "familiar" face. I wore these black jeans and low cut black lace teddy with a cardigan over it. Of course, the cardigan was just until I could get back to the booths and when I would leave them. There wasn't a man I was with that night who didn't appreciate getting to play with my tits. Of course, I knew most men like that, and so it was kind of like an extra bonus. They got their cocks sucked and could play with tits. I was surprised to hear that not too many women go back to the booths, let alone go in them. In fact, one man told me he had never seen a woman back there before. I always go back when I go. I mean, I do browse the store, and sometimes I buy something, but I always go to the back several times over the course of the evening. The second man I was with was the first one I had to set a limit with. I hate it when a man has oil all over his cock, almost as bad as lube. I can understand it makes self-stroking easier and more enjoyable and he didn't know I was going to be there, but still... I hate the taste. Anyway, I did go in the booth with him and I did have a good time. When I go into the booths, I'm using to having my tits played with and sucking their cocks. I'm also used to my knees killing me by the end of the night and hurting for the next few days, so this time, I took a towel with me for padding, but I didn't end up needing it this time. I got to have the chair most of the time, and I liked that. Well, when I got in the booth, I took my sweater off, and his eyes just got big and I knew what he was thinking. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he wanted. The top part of the teddy came down almost at once and his hands were all over me. I enjoyed that very much, and then he had me sit so he could just "lay over me" and slather oil all over them. He had me suck his cock, and then stop so he could play with "the girls" again. He started pulling on them hard and I like that rougher play and started responding. That seemed to really get him off, and he started slapping them. That was good, and I enjoyed it. Before long, my pants and the rest of the teddy were down and he started to finger my pussy. God, I loved that. The only thing I didn't like was the fact that he was using oil and not lube. Oil in a pussy is hard to get cleaned out. It can attract bacteria and it has a tendency to break down some of the latex in condoms. Just not a good combination, but it sure felt good on the tits. He started fingering me, I sucked him some more, and he'd have me stop again so he could finger even more. Well, the more he added, the more I was enjoying it, but then he went for the fist. That was when I had to place the limit and tell him to back off. It might have been different if we had been in a bed, but I was in a chair, and it was a little too intense. I'm pretty tight anyway, and it was just a bit much right then, so I told him to back off it a bit. Up until then, I was truly enjoying it. I wasn't too keen on finger fucking his ass while he finger fucked my pussy, but I was willing and he was cleaned out. He did provide the lube and he did clean my hand for me, which was nice of him. Most men don't even consider that aspect. I did get him off completely, but by the time we were finished, I had to go to the bathroom and wash the oil off my face and tits. The next man I sucked was the first one I took back to the motel. I had gone in the booth with him and started sucking his cock, and then he said he wanted to fuck me. He kept trying to get me to go to his apartment, but I'm leery about going with men I don't know back to their places. I prefer neutral territory or my own where I can have the home court advantage. He did agree to that, but when we got back to my motel, he asked me if I smoked. I told him I did, and he could smoke in the room since it was one you could legitimately. Then he asked me about smoking a bowl with him. I told him I didn't do drugs, that I had been in rehab twice and didn't use anymore. He asked if he could light up, and I told him I would prefer he didn't do it there. So he went into the bathroom and lit up. I should have kicked his ass out of the room right then and there, but I didn't. The next time something like that happens, I will. I didn't appreciate him not respecting my limit or sobriety. I didn't care that he came in with a can of beer. I drink on occasion myself, but nothing hard and certainly not to excess anymore. I don't even drink to get buzzed when I do drink, but I still have to be careful. Anyway, we did play and he asked me if he could fuck me in the ass. I like being fucked there, so I told him he could, but I was still put off by his lighting up. He fucked me, came, and then he left, and I hurried to get dressed again and went back to Glory. When I got there, there was a man outside who was stroking his cock as I sat in my van finishing my cigarette. He could see some of my tits in the lights outside and I knew he was hoping I would come inside. I did, and I did end up sucking his cock, too. He didn't cum however, no matter what I did. I tried sucking and hand work, but nothing. It turned out he'd had way too much to drink earlier and just couldn't do it. He could get hard, but not much else. There was another man in the booth next door and he was watching through the hole and then poked his cock through, so I sucked his while I stroked the man I was with. This time I was glad for the hole because this guy was trying to ram his cock down my throat and he had the length to do it, even through the hole. He got off, and then I went outside for another smoke. The man I was with came out with me, and we talked for a while until I finally told him to get in the van. He told me I didn't have to tell him twice, and I took him back to the motel. He never was able to cum, even when he had sobered up more, but he did spend some time kissing and stroking me, eating my pussy, and he did try to fuck me. The most he could get was precum several times, and I could get him hard, but not enough for the ride. Damn, I was incredibly horny, too. When we were in bed together, we were on our sides, and I could feel his cock against me and it was hard. I kept backing into it, and he was able to fuck my ass a little, and I do mean, a little, like about a couple of inches. Still, it did feel nice, but I wanted so much more. I wanted my Master to be fucking my ass the way He does. He's incredible at it, and I love it even more the more He does. This man enjoyed playing with my tits, too, but he did get a little too rough at one point, and I had to tell him to take it down a notch, too. He did, but then he stopped altogether for a while. When he finally started again, I had to tell him he could be rougher, just not quite as rough as he had the last time. I suppose that can seem kind of confusing to a man, but there is a point where pain isn't pleasurable and he had crossed that point. Up until then, he knew I was enjoying it. I may not make a lot of noise, but I do make some when I'm enjoying it, and he could tell, especially when my back started arching. I didn't get to sleep until after 7. I'd arrived at Glory close to 10:30, left once to be fucked, came back, and didn't leave again until 3. It was pretty dead then, and I left with this other man. Check out was at 11, and I had the alarm set for 9:45, and I know I didn't sleep all the time. Just a few minutes and I'd wake again. I thought about going back to Glory for a morning snack, but I didn't. Maybe next time. I know the next time, I'm going to go into one of the booths with the viewing window, sit in the chair, and start stroking myself and let someone watch me get off. Maybe he'll want to come in and help with that, and then I can get him off. Limits are hard for me, and while I didn't assert myself as well as I could have with the pot smoking, I did with the other things, and I'm glad I did. There was a time when I wouldn't have. I had no limits of my own to speak of, and now I have some. I don't have to submit to just any man in every capacity. I do have choices, and Master lets me make my choices as well. He does let me have limits, but He also pushes my limits. That's His "job," not someone else's. The man who brought the pot told me I would come to Missoula whenever he summoned me and I would do whatever he wanted. All I can say to that is in his fucking dreams. The only One who has the authority to do that is Master, and this man couldn't even begin to come close to commanding me the way He can and does. |
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6/1/2009 9:55 pm |
as your heart desires..
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whew this got me hard
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