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Why I can't date you 101.......don't take it personally guys...unless of course it applies!
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Why I can't date you 101.......don't take it personally guys...unless of course it applies! I can't date you if..................... 1. You can't string at least 3 sentences together...and (2)... if you within those 3 sentences; aint got no, I seent it, or yes you is..... NO NO I'm NOT! ( Just can't date you dude) 3. If you believe that budweiser and marlboro are essential parts of the basic food groups....CAN'T DATE YOU! 4. If you think Puccini is cheese......I'M SORRY JUST CAN'T DATE YOU! 5. If the words "Please drive through" are said at any point on the first date....there WON'T be another! 6. If your idea of stimulating conversation consists of making eye contact followed by "let's f***"....I THINK YOU KNOW WHERE WHAT MY REACTION WILL BE! 7. If you ask me out for a drink and we end up in a drive-thru liquor store with a brown bag that weighs approximately 40 ounces....THAT'S RIGHT DUDES IT'S A NO GO FOR ME! 8. If you can't be honest and tell me that you're 5'4, 280 pounds, 25 years older than your picture and hung like a beetle.....THEN FORGET IT! I WON'T DATE YOU! 9. If your idea of a perfect first date is a justice of the peace, a get-away-car and quick dash to Immigration and Naturalization Office...... YOU KNOW! 10. If your third ex-wife is your second wife's first cousin...........Laughing my ass off....YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME! Now I know this is NOT really a dating site. But there are a few of us out there who want more than a "hello,hook up,hand job and a HOLLA'!" Thanks! Lona46 |
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1/30/2008 10:52 am |
Suffice it to say that door swings both ways, sweetie.
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Very well put.
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LOL That is good. Easier to go thru that list then the other way...
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4/2/2008 9:56 pm |
I know what you're talking about lona, nice post. I'm definately not just looking for a hand-job, etc. But something real. that last one is priceless by the way
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8/18/2008 1:36 pm |
well honestly it WAS rather disturbing to find that after the divorce she was STILL my cousin. and 40 oz would be a LOT of nice ice wine and even a reasonable amount (although an odd bottle) of a cabernet. I thought the term was "hung like a gerbel" I like classical and jazz but opera is something I have to work to enjoy I'm afraid although I'll admit I like it better as I ummmm....mature (ick...hate thinking that I'm doing that) Beer to one of german decent might well be a basic food group but Budweiser does NOT qualify. (I don't smoke) I'll admit that if we made eye contact and YOU said "lets f***" it would be stimulating but I'm a guy...we're easy ! Have fun. Great post!
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8/28/2008 6:26 am |
I'm 5'4" 180lbs and hung like a butterfly does that count? It's all about preferences,you know what your looking for,and what you prefer it's up to others to respect those choices you make.As for me I'm not really looking for anything but friends and those come in all sizes,shapes and colors from various backgrounds. Good post, Rog
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6/1/2010 10:34 pm |
Wow i passed on each and every one.. WHat is my prize?? lol
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Amusing! I like a woman with a sense of humor. 
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You funny girl. Cute too! Have you got anything else for us. Maybe a joke of the month?
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5/24/2011 8:20 am |
Lona46, that is a great list. The whole thing sounds like "You Could Be A Redneck If". I have read it a few times to see if I fit any of the catagories, and I am safe to say that I do not. My profile isn't great,at the time I really did not know what to write. I am a standard member right now just to see whats up on the sight, so this is the only way I can contact you. Hope to hear from you.
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Maybe some of your suitors are best identified by this quote. “A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” ~ Bill Cosby Take care.
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How about that, I made through the first ten! If only my age requirements were ok, I might have a chance!!!
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Hello beautiful one some of us are looking more than a wham bam thank you mam! But if you have the time to get to know me you might like meeting up.. Then if you only wanted sex iam hung fair and get hard very easy >>!.. If you take a chance and meet me and spend time getting to know each other lets do dinner >
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Very eloquently put there Lona. I enjoyed a lot of those had me laughing. I know there are people out there like that but have never looked at it that way.
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Ha, ha! When I saw your profile photo I had the sense that your were intelligent and introspective. I didn't imagine that you were funny too!  This was very entertaining.I'll have to read more later.
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