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| Blogs > whoisagentj > The Dossier of Agent J |
Sometimes being alone sucks.
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Sometimes being alone sucks. I'm not a social butterfly. In fact, I'm fairly introverted. It's something I wish I could overcome, but the older you get, the more set in your ways you become, and it's harder to break out of them. It's not impossible, but it is hard to do. Being divorced can also be difficult for a man. When I was divorced from my ex, almost all of my friends were her friends. The friends I had from before I was married, my ex frowned upon them, and she did what she could to have me cut my ties from them. Yeah, she was a controlling person, and it was the first part of my spider-senses tingling telling me to get out of the marriage, but I shut them down and ignored them because I thought I loved her. Fast forward to today. I have a couple of friends from the internet, but really...I don't have any actual physical friends. I do have family members, which I see from time to time. However, they have their own lives and I rarely interact with them. The people I see the most are my mom and dad on a daily basis, and then my once a week, if at that, because they are getting older and want to do their own things in life. So where does that leave me? Alone most of the time. Dealing with being alone can be difficult at times. I don't feel alone all of the time. But some days, being alone can hurt and it's not easy to deal with. I know what you'll say next...go out and find some friends! Folks it's easier said than done. For me, I'm an introverted thinker. Which means, while I can socialize, I overthink things a lot. And when that happens, I have a tendency to think, "What does this person want from me? What is their real goal? Do they want to be my friend or do they just want to use me because I can drive them somewhere or for them to get into someplace or use me for a certain reason?" My heart wants a friend, but my head overthinks things. In reality, I can count the people I trust on my fingers. The real people I can count on. I wish I could develop more friends, but in the past, I've been burnt so many times by selfish people who've used me in the past, I've built a fortress around my heart. Yeah, I love that song from Sting. When I hear it, it wants me to open up to others, but the pain from the past keeps from doing so. Which leads me to this...if you have the same problems, how do you overcome being alone? How do you find a way to open up to others and allow them inside of your world? Because it's not like a Nike commercial where you just say, "Just Do It". How do you overcome the fear of letting people in and being open again? And this also relates to myself opening up to the opposite sex as well, not just friends. What do you think? Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent  |
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... just wanted to add another 2 cents... I'm in sales so I have to be... outgoing. But I'll tell you this ; it can be terrifying to meet and speak with total strangers. Add to that.. in sales, people truly reject you. There are no second chances... So... having now scared the shit out of you lol Here's where I am coming from.... What I learned was;meeting people, talking with strangers and putting yourself out there - is an acquired skill! You have to practice! Most importantly... you have to be true to yourself. If you find something interesting or funny or worth talking about... why wouldn't someone else? Of course there will be rejection but that's why you have feet.... So can get back up and stand on them. Onto the next person. Trust me when I say, when I first started in sales, I was terrified. Then someone taught me that question :What's the worst that can happen? 😶 Beleive in yourself and practice! ⚽ ok... I'm done.. lol 😊👍 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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2 Montrealers replying to your post? lol Small world. 🌍 Yep... No short cuts to your Q. Ya gotta just put yourself out there. No fear. Here are the questions you have to ask yourself. -What is it you stand to loose if you get "burned" as you say? What is it..... Money, time, self esteem...? -What's the worst that can happen (besides getting burned) if you put yourself out of your comfort zone? If the negatives out weigh the positives, then you'll be stuck where you are.... Life is about taking risks. Without those measured risks.... you'll be exactly where you are today.... alone. That's about the best I can offer. 🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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4/10/2019 3:59 am |
"The problem is, the past friends I had burned their bridges a long time ago," like you said, sometimes you overthink things. did you decide these relationships died...or did you just bury them with your mind. when is the last time you reached out to one of them. i hear many stories of many people that touched their past courtesy of facebook. life gives you two choices. you can control your destiny or you can let destiny control you bonne chance there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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4/9/2019 7:19 am |
yup! bought that t-shirt in a fluorescent yellow! the answers are simple. the actions are hard. with that said i would have to say forgive them. not to overlook what they have done, bur to release them from your head and heart. adopt the "it don't matter attitude" as long as you don't mind it don't matter. like really does it matter if you are driving or they are driving. if it really matters then insist they drive... if they make a big dear then you can decide what you want to do. instead if wondering what the person wants from you enjoy the friendship until you don't enjoy it anymore. then walk away that is a start... with time more will come there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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"Fortress Around Your Heart" Under the ruins of a walled city Crumbling towers in beams of yellow light No flags of truce, no cries of pity The siege guns had been pounding through the night It took a day to build the city We walked through its streets in the afternoon As I returned across the fields I'd known I recognised the walls that I once made I had to stop in my tracks for fear Of walking on the mines I'd laid And if I've built this fortress around your heart Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire Then let me build a bridge For I cannot fill the chasm And let me set the battlements on fire Then I went off to fight some battle That I'd invented inside my head Away so long for years and years You probably thought, or even wished that I was dead While the armies all are sleeping Beneath the tattered flag we'd made I had to stop in my tracks for fear Of walking on the mines I'd laid And if I've built this fortress around your heart Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire Then let me build a bridge For I cannot fill the chasm And let me set the battlements on fire This prison has now become your home A sentence you seem prepared to pay It took a day to build the city We walked through its streets in the afternoon As I returned across the lands I'd known I recognised the fields where I'd once played I had to stop in my tracks for fear Of walking on the mines I'd laid And if I've built this fortress around your heart Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire Then let me build a bridge For I cannot fill the chasm And let me set the battlements on fire Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent
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